In putting together my list of things my co-workers need to know when I transition at work, I was also asked to consider setting boundaries around what is appropriate to ask. It strikes me that telling people what they may not ask about can be just as educational as in what you tell them.
Here’s a few ideas I have about that.
1. The status of my genitals: Yes, I know that genital surgery was probably the main component of any documentary you’ve ever seen about transsexuals, but it has no impact on anyone in the workplace and isn’t really considered a polite topic of discussion. It’s no more appropriate to ask about my “equipment” than for me to ask about yours.
2. My sexual orientation: In general it is important to know that sexual orientation and gender are two separate things, and that I’m changing the latter. You really don’t need to know my personal orientation beyond that.
3. My sex life: My sex life is the business of myself and my spouse. It has no bearing on anyone else and certainly isn’t something I want to discuss at work.
Can anyone out there think of anything else I might want to set a boundary around?