I’ve been working and reworking my next “Facts not Opinions” post for a couple of days. It’s a lot more daunting than I expected. I’m also finding it a more important exercise than I thought it would be for unexpected reasons.
Like a lot of trans people I retain a deeply ingrained sense that despite anything anyone says I’m really just sick and wrong and if I had any sense of decency I’d go back to my male life and renounce all this subversive transgender talk. This isn’t my intellect talking. It’s raw emotion and generally seems impervious to logical argument.
Or maybe that part of my brain isn’t impervious, but just unusually stubborn and needs a severe drubbing from logic before it will let go. Because researching the science behind transsexualism seems to be making some inroads into that more primitive part of my consciousness. I say that because I find that the act of synthesizing all this research and argumentation about gender identity is having a healthy impact on my self-image. Maybe it IS okay that I’m transsexual, and it’s other people’s problem if they don’t get it.
That’s an unexpected benefit of spending many unpaid hours pouring through research far afield from my expertise, and just as many hours educating myself in the relevant fields of knowledge to allow me to understand said research. Whatever else, I think I’m definitively proving that being a geek survives transition intact.