The hour has finally arrived. I am about to walk into my workplace as Diana, and never again look back. You’d think such a moment is fraught with nervousness. I thought it would be. But I’m finding it not to be so.
A kind of serenity has come over me that I never thought to expect. Imagine a hang-glider pilot all suited up and strapped in surveying a valley below. If the nerves were to have helped, the moment is already past. The thoughts crowding the mind now are all about tactics and optimism. If disaster awaits, it’s coming now regardless. Time to just let that stuff go and enjoy the experience.
E and I went shopping today to fill out my wardrobe. I got some pretty cool things over several stores and hours. But in the end, after trying on a lot, I decided my first day outfit would be one E assembled from items we already had in the closet. I think there might be a metaphor hiding somewhere in that anecdote.
I’ve still got a hundred and ten major criticisms of my appearance. In summary: I wish I was thinner, younger, shapelier, and had better teeth. None of that is going to happen by tomorrow, and you know what? That’s okay. Once I made my peace with all of that stuff, most of the rest of the world seemed to stop staring so much. How timely of them!
So tomorrow morning I get up, like usual. Get showered and dressed, like usual. I spend a little extra time on hair and add in some time for makeup. Not so terribly different. Then I pack a lunch and head off for the train. Doesn’t that sound like a rather ordinary day, rather than the prelude to any dramatic climax? I’m finding it so, and really enjoying it for that same reason.